Person A: I need cuddles
Person B: I can offer you only half-eaten chinesee soup.
Person A: Yeah, might work.
May I present to you:
Book seller
Crystal seller
He sells flowers
She will sell you a pumpkin this fall
Would you like to purchase.. bean?
They are regulars. They buy mushrooms for soup
She has more options
Don’t be scared, he’s just been doing this for years and is passionate about garlic
Can I interest you in...melon?
Witch’s familiar needs coins to buy ingredients from toad next door
Please trust reliable, small business owners
May: Hey Peter…
Peter, Noir, and Ham: Yeah?
May: Parker?
Peter, Noir, and Peni: What?
May: Peter Parker?
Peter and Noir: What?
May, slightly annoyed: Spiderman?
Peter, Noir, and Miles: What’s up?
May: Uh, the spider in black and white?
Noir and Gwen: What do you want?
May, now thoroughly annoyed: Black Spidey?
Noir: What?
Miles: That’s rude, man.
May, on the verge of losing it: THIS ONE! I WANT TO TALK TO THIS ONE! *Grabs Noir and shakes him*
Noir: Well, why didn’t you say so?
Tilda Swinton risked arrest waving a rainbow flag in front of the Kremlin in violation of Russia’s new homosexual propaganda bill. And she wants everyone who can to reblog it in solidarity.
Guys please reblog this, it won’t ruin your blog, this is important
Y’all John Mulaney didn’t die in Infinity War J.J. Bittenbinder taught him better than that
john mulaney when thanos arrives: you want this stone? go get it!
john mulaney when squidward comes to take him to titan: I aint going to no secondary location
John mulaney lying tummy up in wakanda, flailing his arms and legs: YOU’VE GOT TO THROW THEM OFF THEIR RHYTHM
Moseby has lost it…
this was so moving… i really hope they cast him in the next pitch perfect movie
